Injured and abandoned animals have the RSPCA. Left behind elderly people have retirement homes. Unfortunate children have orphanages. But so far, clumsy or challenged gamers had no place to hide. Thanks to Kay Cobra, no more. A new organization, called DOJO, is finally filling this intolerable void by providing a safe place to gamers who share a common trait: mediocrity.
What is DOJO?
DOJO is a gamers clan that appeals to the lower bottom of the gamer ladder. You don’t have to be in your forties to join. But beware, if your lack of skills is natural VS the result of the inoxerable decline of your cognitive abilities, you will see around quite some grey hair and prominent bellies. Race, gender, age, political allegiance, diet (from vegan to keto), belief that Craig Wright is Satoshi or a crook… It does not matter. All those avid gamers are united by one unwavering link: they splendidly suck at games.
It has been created by an individual who is calling himself “Cobra Kay”. This is of course a reference to the eponymous TV serie, sequel of the famous movie “Karate Kid”. It emphasizes on the taste of the DOJO members for irregular moves (aka cheating). Yes, they will try to kick your knee (although there is not much to fear, they will probably miss).
How the DOJO looks like?
In the DOJO, members try to play games… at times. But given the frustration arising from failure, gaming sessions quickly fade to be replaced by mundane conversations. Actually, you don’t have to be a gamer to join. If you like to talk about food and cooking, cryptocurrencies, American politics… You are welcome. Play one game of Chaos once in a while, just to pretend to the outside world.
A typical DOJO gathering looks like this. Play Chaos or another 1 button game (sometimes a real game like CryptoBlast 3), get frustrated after 10-15 min, then switch to bashing something or someone, most probably Bijou Shitokakishan (a real gamer triggering jealousy and envy among the DOJO) to vent frustration and anger.
The DOJO is also the perfect place to learn about tricks and cheats to artificially improve your scores. What is the ideal Hz setup for your screen, how to pause or slowdown games… Anything to fill the skill gap is copiously discussed.
I suck at games, I want to join
You took the right decision. To join, you simply have to download Telegram and join the DOJO. It’s free. All you have to bring is your dirt incompetence at gaming. Hurry, Cobra Kay and his friends cannot wait to make your acquaintance: https://t.me/cobrakay
Note: I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it.
Edit : more proofs
Great article. I tried to look up this gamer they keep bashing called Bijou on http://www.skillgaming.com and found this https://skillgaming.com/user-profile/bijou-team-desi-daru/51
He has only 4 games where he holds top spot but two of those are made by Bijou Games which are featured on this blog so the writer of this article is Bijou himself?
I then looked at this Cobra Kay’s profile and he holds almost 3x as many titles wow! https://skillgaming.com/user-profile/cobra-kay-dojo-/13 and one of the other cobras has 5 titles…
It also seems the Cobra Doji has 7 cobra clan members but Bijou has just himself. Was he part of the dojo once?
You people seem quite obsessed with this Bijou. What’s the reason, if I may ask?
Hmm someone seems salty, bijou has less than 5 titles, some cobras have like 10 alone hah. He claims that they talk of cheating but is cheating himself https://i.gyazo.com/3d6d3fb1393711009d34887c717114f1.png boasting about how he tampers with herz rates. Busted.
John Crease will return one day to claim all KING OF THE HILLS, he already has 9 and has retired to run a chipshop and await more worthy foe, or should I say Fodder, on SG.
The enemy deserves no mercy.
You so rite sar. But plez it seem u mede a small typo, its RSPCA and not RSCPA, DOJO pupils are already hete you for tell the true. Thenks
Thank you Mr Shitokakishan, I have corrected accordingly.